Yay! This glorious fall day—with rain about to commence—deserves a few editing tips; and here they are. Let’s crunch five crispy leaves.
- Eliminate useless pronouns. Yikes! And while you’re at it, avoid mentioning thoughts; just think them.
- No: She knew she couldn’t go on forever, but she wasn’t ready to stop—not yet. (There are too many she’s. And it’s already from her perspective: no need to spell out thoughts.)
- Yes: She couldn’t go on forever, but wasn’t ready to stop—not yet.
- Use the person’s name first, and then the pronoun.
- No: Without years of intense therapy, anyone he looks at loses themselves in Randy’s mesmerizing eyes. (We don’t know who “he” is until the end of the sentence, and then we aren’t sure.)
- Yes: Without years of intense therapy, anyone Randy looks at loses themselves in his mesmerizing eyes.
- Don’t think too much.
- No: She bent over, plucked the weeds from around the plants, and placed them in a pile beside her. It all takes so much work, she thought to herself. (No need to say that we think to ourselves. Aren’t we already in the person’s head?)
- Yes: She bent over, plucked the weeds from around the plants, and placed them in a pile beside her. It took so much work.
- Avoid pretty, very, all, any, and just unless in dialog—or it makes sense in the moment.
- No: It was all a pretty big deal and he was very excited about it; all of his friends asked him to keep them informed of any invitations.
- Yes: It was a big deal and he was thrilled; his friends asked him to pass on the invites.
- Avoid overusing people’s names. No name dropping!
- No: Collup liked a good kettle of collards. So Collup kept asking his big sister to make them. But, she’d moved out years ago, and didn’t answer Collup’s call.
- Yes: Collup liked a good kettle of collards, so he kept asking his big sister to make them. Too bad, she’d moved out years ago, and didn’t answer his call.
Here’s your prize: a word picture, aka poem.
Autumn Song, by Wendy MacGown
Autumn leaves cling to rain soaked branches,
Tender spring and torrid summer past.
The sun peeks out over the trees,
Embossing brush-stoke-perfect pallets of crimson and gold
That drop in soft patters on the emerald grass below.
Happy Leaf Peeping!